


One Onion Isn't Enough

by daddychilton



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:37:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2731043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddychilton/pseuds/daddychilton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac walks in on Dennis trying to emote.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Onion Isn't Enough

Mac was humming the theme to Thundergun Express as he walked into the kitchen. He stopped when he saw Dennis bent over the counter with one of those old knives you’d see in a horror movie hanging by his thigh. He did an ocular pat down and saw nothing else on Dennis’ person.

“Dude, what’s with the knife? Are you okay?” He crossed his arms and stood far enough away that Dennis wouldn’t be able to take a swipe at him.

“I just…” Dennis started. His voice sounded weary and strained. “I just wanted to feel it once more, you know?”

Mac didn’t know, and he was puzzled. Sometimes Dennis got a little too philosophical for Mac, and he just tuned him out. This time, he knew, he couldn’t tune Dennis out.

“Feel what, man? What the hell are you talking about?”

Dennis turned around slowly, the knife dangling just above his knee. Behind him, Mac could see their wooden cutting board – one they’d picked out together in a flea market not too long ago, man Mac had had fun that day – and a big red onion on top. Half of it was diced, and Dennis’ eyes were as red, like he was high.

“You know how we were talking about feelings earlier and how you said that you ‘feel them every day of your life’?” He paused, shuffled his feet. “Well, I wanted to, you know, remember what it was like to cry, but I couldn’t get the emotion to work. You know, Charlie’s cancer didn’t affect me, Dee’s pregnancy didn’t affect me… I just… wanted to feel ‘normal’ again, man.” The knife clattered to the floor, and Dennis’ hands went up to his face.

Mac was speechless. He’d never seen Dennis try this hard at anything other than the D.E.N.N.I.S system, and he felt the presence of God in the room.

Dennis crumpled to the floor and his shoulders were heaving, like he was sobbing. Mac could hear the wheezing breaths that were coming from Dennis’ mouth, but he couldn’t tell if he was actually crying or not. He ran over to him and put his hands on his shoulders.

“Hey, are you alright?” His voice was soft and tender, like he was talking to a child that’d just scraped its knee.

Dennis looked up, eyes still red, but not wet with fresh tears.

“I tried, Mac. I feel like if I were a real boy, I’d be crying right now just from frustration, but I can’t even do that!” Now his whole face was red, and he had begun to shout. “Why can’t I make my body do what I want! Normally _I’m_ the one in control, but I can’t even conjure a few measly tears for a frustrated moment! The Golden God wants to _cry_ goddammit!” He took a shuddering breath, and bowed his head. “I am nothing more than a sham,” he whispered so low that Mac could barely hear him.

Mac put one of his hands on Dennis’ chin and lifted his face. “Look at me,” he said. “Look at me right now, and tell me that you’re a sham.”

Dennis kept his eyes trained on his feet. He didn’t move.

“Dennis,” he said. “Dennis, I need you to look at me.

Finally, Dennis looked up with his bloodshot, serial killer eyes that Mac so adored.

“I am a sham, Mac.”

“Okay, dude you have got to pull yourself together. I don’t have time for this today, and neither do you. The theater is doing a marathon of all the Thundergun Express movies, and we need to get going. I got us both tickets, man! We’re gonna be spending all day at the movies with that chiseled hunk! Doesn’t that make you feel a little better?”

Dennis’ face was stony for five seconds, before he actually started weeping.

Mac was stunned. He couldn’t remember the last time, if at all, that he’d seen Dennis cry so openly. Miracles do happen, he thought, and said a silent prayer.

“We have to get going right now if we want to make the first one, dude.”

“Okay, okay, okay, I just, let me pull myself together, it’s just such a nice thing you’ve done, Mac, I didn’t expect this, and the onion I need to throw it away, but yeah, yeah we can go now that’s great, that’s fine, _thank you_ , Mac, thank you.” The words fell from his tongue and lips like a river, and he pulled Mac into a warm embrace and breathed in the smell of his sweat and something that smelled like a burrito. “Put some cologne on before we go, though.”

“Sure thing, dude, let’s get out of here.”

 


End file.
